PART III THE HEART OF A CHILD
TRUSTING GOD TO CHANGE YOU
My Brothers and Sisters,
This chapter had to be the most difficult for me to write thus far, not only because of the subject matter, but because, God took me very deep within myself and because of this, I wanted to be sure that I was not writing IN self, instead of following the Mind of Christ.
Sometimes, old thinking rises up within us and catches us unaware. This was one of those times. It was a deliberate attack of the adversary.
The adversary wants us to feel vulnerable, so that we will withhold our testimonies, miracles and deliverances, that could encourage, inspire, comfort, heal and help lead someone to repentance, deliverance and TRANSFORMATION.
If, the enemy knows God has given us the authority and power to change people, then, why aren’t WE convinced?
Remember…there is POWER in God’s spoken Word! What He puts in YOUR mouth to speak can loose, bind, create, destroy and bring about repentance, leading to TRANSFORMATION–true change in others.
My Brothers and Sisters, It is time to dispel lies!
The enemy whispered a lie into my ear, before I wrote this; thinking it would stop me. Perhaps, I forgot to put on The Armor of God that day. Perhaps, I took my eyes off of Jesus, just long enough, for him to grab the opportunity to slide in beside me, to do his dirty-work. Perhaps, my Father, in His Infinite Wisdom, allowed it to happen, because, it was a test to grow me.
Still, meaning it for evil,the adversary, whispered in my ear, putting the notion, in my head that I could not trust myself. The idea, alone, of putting trust in myself, should have triggered suspicion.
Nonetheless, as a result, it became difficult for me to begin writing. Then, once I began, I questioned what I heard and wrote. I became concerned about how others would perceive the message and how they might perceive me.
I am so very grateful, that we have a Heavenly Father, who watches over us. Who in times like these, chastises me and reminds me not to fear man, demons, principalities, or anything that will try and exalt itself above God, but to fear HIM. Most of all, I am glad He reminds me, that I am not alone; for He is always with me.
Yet, until then, there I was–in doubt. I could not go on until, I had examined my faith and looked to see where I was placing my trust.
Who was I trying to please–self and man? I had fallen for an old trick of the adversary, called–distract, separate you from God and destroy you; yes, the old divide and conquer trap.
The distractions I encountered were relentless. I experienced family problems, which I had to translate into opportunities to serve God. Then, came continuous nights of spiritual warfare, with heightened episodes of attack from the enemy, which took me back to remembering the experiences of my childhood, when God began preparing me to be His servant–a remade, fortified vessel.
As a child, during those unforgettable nights, as I slept, I walked within the realm of Darkness, among demons and malevolent spirits and engaged in spiritual warfare.
I could always sense the presence of another with me, guiding me; telling me not to be afraid; and telling me what to say. I was astonished at the words that would come out of my mouth. Later I discovered that they were scriptures. The demons knew my name and they knew why the other had brought me.
I remember approaching what appeared to be the worst of these demonic spirits and telling him that I did not fear him, then, I recited the 23rd Psalm, which I also did not remember committing to memory.
Surely, there are sceptics, who will say these are the dreams and nightmares of a child, with an overactive imagination and/or things stored in my subconscious, that I had the ability to retrieve, at a later time. Yet, for these things to be drawn out of my subconscious, in such a way, was in itself, a way of awakening me and giving me an awareness of an unknown and new ability, within me.
Surely, someone in the field of psychoanalysis will draw the conclusion, that I was an impressionable child, under the influence of religious fanaticism, causing me to incur emotional and psychological damage, resulting in hallucinations and nocturnal delusions of grandeur.
Perhaps, they would equate my recollection of spiritual warfare, with a child learning to conquer their nightmares and life’s experiences; such as traumatic or foreboding events, or loathsome, frightening people; and unresolved issues, such as bed-wetting.
However, I was not a child prone to nightmares and when I awoke, had I not repeated the scripture and verified it within the Bible, I too, would have attributed the experiences to just a dream or figments of my imagination.
Moreover, the dreams were methodical and memorable; not erratic. I knew that there were things that I was supposed to remember and the undeniable peace and authority of a presence, unlike any I’d ever known, who encouraged, comforted and guided me. One,Who was unafraid and powerful, whom the demons feared. I knew that He was good. I trusted Him. Neither was I afraid and the demons began to fear me, also.
I would dream and envision places and times, while awake or sleeping, then, actually go there one day and remember I had seen them before. Deja Vu, they call it. So, apparently, it is a common experience.
We are Spiritual Beings and God, Who is also a Spiritual Being, communicates with us through our spirit, which is a natural occurrence. It just happens, that it is better to get our attention when we’re sleeping or still.
Even so, not everyone is aware of themselves as a Spiritual Being. At that age, I certainly was not. So, I kept these dreams and visions to myself, because no one in my family or church ever spoke of such things.
I certainly was not looking for attention or punishment. –And who would have believed me, anyway–a child? I had no desire to share these experiences, at the risk of being called a liar, crazy, evil and possessed, or even worse yet, for a child, was being teased, like I was for my bed-wetting.
Oh, well, convincing others of the validity of my dreams and visions, or having repeated experiences with what the old-folks labeled as witches on your back, is no longer important to me, because I know who was with me then and I know who is with me, now.
Now, I can tell these life-changing experiences to you to help you understand that, when I was filled with doubt, I had to return to having the heart of a child; putting all my faith and trust in God.
When I began to trust AND obey Him alone, my heart was at ease and I was no longer bound by pride and opinions, because I trusted God to change me.
Now, I remind you, also, my Brothers and Sisters, “Be not afraid!” You are NOT alone! God is ALWAYS with you and He NEVER FAILS! Come to Him with a child-like heart. Whatever your need, God knows what adjustments to make and will mold you to meet life head on. Trust Him to change you. Trust Him.
SELF REFLECTION: A Look in the Mirror
Once again, when we look at Jesus’ parables, He is challenging us to examine where our heart lies. Closely examining your heart, answer the questions below.
DISCUSS your answers with a mature Believer who can guide you in your spiritual relationship with Jesus and our Father, and/or have group discussions to learn from those who have different experiences and perspectives.
QUESTIONS: Write down your questions and discuss them with a mature Believer or submit them to this blog.
1. What lies has the enemy whispered into your ear?
2. What lies have you been freed from?
3. How were you freed? If you have not been freed, who are you putting your trust in? Who are you fearing?
4. Has God spoken to you in your dreams?
5. Have you had spiritual visions and/or dreams?
6. Have you been approached by demons while sleeping or awake? If so, have you shared your experience with anyone?
7. Do you know your spiritual gifts? Do you have someone to help you learn and be accountable?
8. Do you trust God with a child-like heart to change you?