I HAVE AN ETERNITY AHEAD OF ME
(Intermittent Waves Recorded from the Transformed Heart of a Woman)
AUNTIE YONNY: A NORMAL LIFE
When the limousine pulled up in front of The Daily, Hal asked the chauffeur to come back in an hour and told him that he didn’t have to get out to open his door. He took his jacket off and slipped out of the back seat wearing sunglasses and made a quick dash to the front door.
The secretary told him that Rachel, his boss, was in the conference room, where she was finishing up a meeting. People were leaving the room as he walked down the hallway. From between the venetian blinds in the window, he could see Rachel seated at the conference table.
She was wearing her favorite pink sweater. She always looked good in that sweater Hal thought. She took out a sheet of paper and kept glancing down at it, then looking up as if trying to memorize the words.
Hal knocked on the door and Rachel looked up and gave him that killer smile that always made his heart race. She motioned for him to come in.
“Hi Rache! How’s it going?”
“Ugh, there’s way too much going on in the city. I’ve got to send somebody to cover the ceremony for the anniversary of the first children and Americans to die as a result of Graves’ wicked healthcare plan.”
“Yeah, I forgot that was today and to think they celebrated passing that death bill. It makes one question man’s intelligence and their humanity. They were completely out of touch with the people they served and Graves really didn’t care.”
“That’s for sure. We can thank God that our parents were among the survivors.”
Hal had forgotten how much Rachel was led by her faith and liked to talk about God. He guessed that was why she never went out with him again before getting her promotion. He just wasn’t in to all that.
Rachel went on talking about the healthcare plan that everyone now referred to as legislative genocide.
“Then, to make matters even worse, they never took into consideration the chances of a pandemic or the health consequences of nuclear war. After all that happened, they were forced to enact government universal healthcare coverage for the entire nation or no one would have survived. God has his way of stepping in to correct things.
Anyway, I can’t send Eduardo because he’s covering a story way out in Seattle. I’m going to have to send the new guy.”
“Phil? He’s not so bad. Just give him a chance, Rache.”
“Yeah, but, I wish you were around. Did you find out who requested you?”
“Yeah, well…that’s what I wanted to talk you about, Rachel; me being around.”
Hal had Rachel’s full attention. He rarely called her Rachel when they were alone and she didn’t like the sound of what he was saying.
Hal sat down and began to tell Rachel about his conversations with Tanya and Miriam Graves. Rachel was excited, hanging on to every word.
“Wow, Hal, you’ve got quite a story already!”
Hal lowered his head and couldn’t look at Rachel.
“What? What else? It sounds great! Did something happen? Did you get kicked out?”
“No Rache, they made me an offer.”
“An offer? What…what kind of offer, Hal?”
“They want me to work for them, Miriam Barrett, that is.”
“Why…why that’s wonderful Hal! I’m uh, real happy for you and uh, have you decided, yet?”
“No, I wanted to talk to you first and get your opinion.”
“Me? Why me? You know I’d never hold you back, Hal. I’ve told you how good you are. If you would have been hired before me, you would have my job right now. When you walked in the door and I read your first column, I said, now there’s some real competition. It was a good thing I had already interviewed for this open position.
I want to see you go as far as you can go and want to go as a journalist. When will you start?”
Hal was hoping she’d put up an argument and give him some reason why he should stay. He really wasn’t quite sure if he wanted to leave The Daily, but as of this morning, after being briefed by Tanya, it seemed that he had become committed. He guessed he just wanted to hear Rachel try to convince him not to leave. Hal looked into Rachel’s eyes.
“I guess I’m giving my two weeks notice today. I’ll send you a formal letter. Perhaps, Darla will type it up for me.”
“Darla? Who’s Darla?”
“Oh, well, she’s just Mrs. Yanovich’s personal secretary. She’s an older woman, you know, middle-age-ish, gray hair, grandmother-ish.”
“Oh, okay, but no hurry. You’re still going to give us a story, right?”
“Sure, and I’d like to continue writing for The Daily from time to time. I’m not sure how this is going to work out. I mean, all I want is a normal life and these people don’t live like normal people or act like normal people. You no what I mean, Rache?”
“Maybe I do, Hal. Recently, an old acquaintance, not you, who had spent most of his life being “tossed and driven by the restless sea of time, so to speak,” told me that he, just wanted a ‘normal’ life.
Throughout his life, he appeared to be somewhat happy and content with living a lifestyle committed to bondage and serving darkness, because he felt it allowed him to be the ‘captain of his own ship,’ unaccountable and not having to answer to anyone. In his words, he was in this life for himself and enjoyed being selfish.
However, at that time, somewhat dismayed and bewildered, because he was burdened with responsibility and having to care for others, he was asking me to pray for him and you know me, I replied, “I am always thinking about you and praying for you.” But, I guess I was the one being untruthful that time.
Most assuredly, it was our past relationship that prevented a level of trust, during that conversation. Knowing him, it was hard for me to see his sincerity in the matter. I’m afraid I was being somewhat of a hypocrite.
But, that night, God had me travail upon his behalf, facing the deep and powerful darkness holding him captive. Demons, who, having once been encountered, are not easy for you to forget. As I wedged my way through the intrepid darkness, I found God using my gift of song to fight the evil that was trying to overtake me. I sang, make him whole, make him whole. In the name of Jesus, make him whole. I know it sounds like something out of a story book the way I’m telling and describing it, but, that’s how it was when I was experiencing it.
My voice filled the darkness as I struggled against its grip. I began to sing this prayer so loudly and fervently, that it awakened me almost into consciousness and I began to sing it out loud, knowing that I was still in between a dream-like state. Although, I wanted to leave, I couldn’t, and continued to sing my prayer of Spiritual Warfare and protection, knowing I was protected by The Light!
A few days later, our Father touched my heart with those words of desperation, that had been confessed to me, “I just want a ‘normal’ life. ” A ‘normal’ life; what IS a NORMAL LIFE, I asked myself? To which my spirit answered, from the depth of my heart, “TRUSTING IN GOD and LOVING GOD.”
But, what, why? Is that really all there is to it? What about the house with the white picket fence, cars, having a family with children, the perfect job, lots of friends and money to buy everything you need and want? Is that what he was talking about? Is that what I want?
If you’ve had these things and lost them, then, you know that SOMETHING ELSE IS MISSING! You overlooked that which would make them ‘NORMAL’ within YOUR LIFE, IF, these are the things that God would have for YOU. It doesn’t make you any more or less ‘normal’, if God has chosen another lot and has a DIFFERENT PLAN for your life.
The adversary defeating you and having a stronghold over you comes from, like Adam and Eve, BELIEVING that something is being DENIED or WITHHELD from you that you RIGHTFULLY deserve. This has been the successful strategy of the adversary, to CONVINCE us that we DESIRE and DESERVE, making us think we’re missing out on life and what is NORMAL! Why is he successful? Because, our hearts have been filled with the treasures and desires of the world. We have not filled our hearts with holiness and righteousness with JESUS at the center of our joy and the Holy Spirit to guide us in setting our hearts and minds FIRST upon the Kingdom of Heaven, knowing that all else will follow.”
Rachel stood up and walked over to the window looking out, then, as if in another world she began to recite Psalm 8:4-6.
“What is man, that thou art mindful of him? and the son of man, that thou visitest him?
For thou hast made him a little lower than the angels, and hast crowned him with glory and honour.
Thou madest him to have dominion over the works of thy hands; thou hast put all things under his feet:
So, like Adam, don’t we DESERVE to have a ‘normal’ life?
King David had many riches, yet, he knew that he had nothing, for all belonged to God and nothing compares to who God is and what He can do for you.
Yet, when we think of what God can do, our thoughts are in the carnal world! However, we can’t walk upon the straight and narrow path guided by the carnal mind and expect to reach the Kingdom of God! No, we will be DISTRACTED by that which we feel we deserve within the world.
Don’t you REMEMBER, our Father told me, when Jesus, my Son was tempted in the desert? Satan tried to DISTRACT Him, promising Him power and the riches of the world? That which was ALREADY HIS! Satan promised that which did not belong to him, but to ME, THE ALMIGHTY GOD, which I willingly gave to my Son as heir to the Kingdom. To have a Normal Life, your heart must be pure, clean and washed in His Blood.
Many expect God to give them the desires of their heart, but, God will not give that which is covered in darkness. He sees your heart and knows the reason for your desires and He is a Father who only wants GOOD THINGS for His children.
Everything in the world is not good for YOU. You may not be READY to handle what others have because it would be a distraction for you or even dangerous. God is always looking at your POTENTIAL and ALL of your needs, not just at what YOU want to be and have NOW. He’s preparing us for an ETERNITY of service and abundant life. How does that compare to what we FEEL we desire and deserve now?
God wants us to take our eyes off of the things of this world and keep them stayed on Jesus, so that we live up to our potential. Like Jesus, we must acknowledge that this present world is NOT our home, and we are of the Kingdom.
Does this mean we give up our homes, our possessions, our hopes and our dreams? Jesus said to give up your eye or your hand IF it offends thee. Are they POLLUTING your heart? Is Satan using them to tempt and distract you? Is that which you see, touch, hear, smell, taste; the things of the flesh; are they keeping you from being CLEANSED?
What will you GIVE UP and SURRENDER to be CLEANSED, JOINED TO THE VINE and THE FATHER TO BE MADE WHOLE and have a NORMAL LIFE as God has created for YOU and YOU ALONE?
A ‘normal’ life doesn’t come easy for those still clinging to the world; or for those who believe everyone deserves the same opportunity and chance to achieve their own goals and dreams in the world. How does that transfer to us, Father, I asked? We who are in the world, but not of the world? Can we be lawyers, police officers, politicians, judges, actors, comedians, football players, etc.? What about when we don’t reach our goals or through unfavorable circumstances our dreams are shattered by war, disease, an accident or tragedy. How do we, then, have a ‘normal’ life?
Then, God said. If we can picture the disciples in the boat with Jesus upon a raging sea, during a storm that threatens to take them under the water to their death, then, we can VISUALIZE a normal life. There within the boat, are the disciples, unnerved, fearing for their lives and Jesus is in the boat sleeping, unaffected by that which they consider to be–impending doom.
They cry out to Jesus,who calmly arises and commands the wind and the waves, “PEACE, BE STILL!” At this, the disciples are in awe and disbelief! But, like them, we have a choice to BELIEVE in A Man Called, Jesus! Abiding in Him we gain peace, stability and normality within the life we have been created to live; for He IS our PEACE, THE TRUTH, THE WAY AND THE LIFE! Those who trust and abide in Jesus HAVE A NORMAL LIFE; for He IS the LIFE which creates in us a clean heart to be who and what God created us to BE and to live ABUNDANTLY! Yes, He is The Way to everlasting and abundant life and He is The TRUTH, which makes the storms of life obey HIS WILL.
A ‘normal’ life. If we seek the face and character of God, following in the footsteps of Jesus, we will come to know and understand, that GOD has a plan designed specifically for our lives and OUR normal life begins by accepting Jesus into our lives and SURRENDERING our will, dying to the flesh to be born of the Spirit.”
Suddenly realizing she wasn’t alone, Rachel turned and looked at Hal, embarrassed. He had sat there quietly the whole time, not saying a word, letting her get caught up in her spirituality. Now, she had to face him in the real world. She turned beet red and quickly sat back down at the table, looking down at her folded hands.
Hal had been listening in awe and disbelief to Rachel, absorbing her words and the power by which she rendered them. He had never seen this side of her and for some reason, he was even more drawn to her, having seen it.
“I’m sorry, Hal, that was very unprofessional. I had no right to impose my faith upon you. Please, forgive me. I don’t know what led me to say all of that to you. I get started and I get carried away.”
“No, no, Rache, please don’t apologize. That was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard about life. You were meant to say it. Thank you.”
Rachel grabbed a tissue, wiped her eyes and blew her nose. Finally, she looked at Hal with red eyes and a red nose and they just laughed. Hal folded his hand on top of hers, making her feel uncomfortable. She returned to staring at her hands.
No, Hal thought, he had never heard life explained like that before, but he liked it, especially coming from Rachel. He couldn’t explain what he was feeling. He looked at Rachel with tearful eyes. He couldn’t say what he wanted to say. Instead, he asked,
“Do you think there’s any hope for Tanya and her family?”
“Hope is eternal Hal. Where God’s Grace and Mercy allows it, only He knows. No one can predict who He sends it with. Perhaps, that’s the real reason why you’re there.”
She handed him the paper she had been studying when he walked in and leaned over to give him a kiss on the cheek.
“I’ve got to get back to work, Hal. Let me know what you decide. I won’t hold it against you and you’re always welcome to submit a story. I’ll make sure it gets printed.”
As Hal left the room, he kicked himself for never trying to really get to know Rachel before she was promoted. They had dated a few times and he was more interested in the physical part of her.
Rachel watched Hal walk away, then went to close the blinds and lock the door. She sat back down, hiding her face in her folded arms upon the table. At first, she tried not to cry too loud, but soon, she was lost in her tears and nothing else mattered.
Hal found the limousine waiting outside. He was glad Rachel didn’t have time to walk with him to the door. He hadn’t told Rachel everything. Quickly, he slipped inside and told the driver he was in a hurry to get back and they sped away from the building.
He looked down at the sheet of paper Rachel had given him wondering if he and Rachel could ever get back together. Leaving The Daily would give him the freedom to explore that possibility.
He read the song entitled, GIVE ME A CLEAN HEART and imagined Rachel’s melodic voice singing it.
Give me a clean heart So I may serve Thee
Lord fix my heart So that I may be used by Thee
For I’m not worthy Of all these blessings
Give me a clean heart And I’ll follow Thee
I’m not asking For the riches of the land
I’m not asking For high men to know my name
Please give me, Lord, a clean heart
so that I may follow Thee
Give me a clean heart, a clean heart
And I will follow Thee
Sometimes I am up And sometimes I am down
Sometimes I am almost Level to the ground
Please give me, Lord, a clean heart
That I may follow Thee
Give me a clean heart, a clean heart
And I’ll follow Thee
As Hal read the last line, a tear dropped upon a word making the ink bleed within the paper. He folded the paper neatly and tucked it into his shirt pocket and began to think about his plans for the rest of the day.
GIVE ME A CLEAN HEART
Composer:Margaret Pleasant Douroux
Copyright:© 1970 Earl Pleasant Publishing
Psalm 8 King James Version (KJV)
8 O Lord, our Lord, how excellent is thy name in all the earth! who hast set thy glory above the heavens.
2 Out of the mouth of babes and sucklings hast thou ordained strength because of thine enemies, that thou mightest still the enemy and the avenger.
3 When I consider thy heavens, the work of thy fingers, the moon and the stars, which thou hast ordained;
4 What is man, that thou art mindful of him? and the son of man, that thou visitest him?
5 For thou hast made him a little lower than the angels, and hast crowned him with glory and honour.
6 Thou madest him to have dominion over the works of thy hands; thou hast put all things under his feet:
7 All sheep and oxen, yea, and the beasts of the field;
8 The fowl of the air, and the fish of the sea, and whatsoever passeth through the paths of the seas.
9 O Lord our Lord, how excellent is thy name in all the earth!