I HAVE AN ETERNITY AHEAD OF ME
(Intermittent Waves Recorded From The Transformed Heart Of A Woman)
AUNTIE YONNY: PRAYER CHANGES THINGS
When Hal and Martin returned to the chapel to pray, they were pleased to see that Rahid had been relieved from duty and had decided to join them. They arrived when Pastor Allen had invited anyone to stand up who desired to give a testimony. They were surprised when Rahid suddenly appeared at the front of the chapel. Smiling, Pastor Allen pinned a microphone on his jacket.
Giving honor to Allah,Yahweh, God, whichever you choose to call Him, He is still the Great I Am, the One and Only God. Amen?!
I-I…uh…I feel that I need to give my testimony here today. I have lost…uh…we have lost good friends and…and..I…I don’t know what to-tomorrow might bring. M-Maybe, I won’t be here, either.
My name is Rahid Muhammad Ali Jawaid. I was born into the Islamic religion and I am a Child of the One and Only God, Yahweh, whom we call Allah. I was born into the religion of Islam, just as many of you were born into the religion of Christianity, and Judaism. God blesses my people as he blesses your people. But, now, that our eyes have been opened, we gathered here have let go of religion and worship in Spirit and in Truth. Amen?
Many don’t understand what that means; worshiping in Spirit and in Truth. I know that I didn’t. For my brothers and sisters out there who still aren’t quite sure, simply put, we are spiritual beings. If we have been reborn through God’s Holy Spirit, then, we have embraced The Way, The Truth, and The Life, Christ Jesus.
We are Spiritual Beings, who walk by faith and not by sight, trusting in the Lord. Our faith and our worship is manifested through that which cannot be seen but is UNCHANGING. Our SPIRITUAL WORSHIP is made worthy and magnified by this unchanging HOLY TRUTH, The Word of God, who abides within us, thus, we are able to come before the Almighty God and render praise worthy of the Almighty, because we are justified and covered in His Blood.
Many of my Muslim brothers would say that I have accepted Christian ideology, but, no. No, I have not accepted ideology, I have accepted Truth! There is a difference between the two and He rose with all power in His hands and sits at the Right Hand of God! Glory to God! Ideology, the word of man, comes and goes and dies. But, the Word and Kingdom of God endures forever!
You see, I am still a Muslim, because I know how to submit to the will of God, just like Jesus was still a Jew, and did what He saw His Father do. We both are of a certain heritage, wherein we keep and observe it’s customs and culture, which taught us the principles of God. But, like Jesus, I do not practice religion, which is the result of being blinded and divided.
If one truly is united with Yahweh, Allah, as One, there is no divisiveness. Your mind no longer thinks that way because your heart follows His and His love is manifested through you in the same way towards everyone!
If a man is divided, He is separated from God, who makes us whole. If a man is divided, he doesn’t know which way to go. If a man is divided, he cannot stand. Therefore, he will fall for anything; so did my heart, when I was led astray.
I was a soldier in my country and I loved being a soldier, but, I felt that I always had to hide who I really was. Yet. I really didn’t know who I truly was.
When my military commitment was completed, I told my parents that I wanted to go to America, because it was a land of…uh…opportunities. My parents agreed because they didn’t want me to be caught up in the wars going on and be killed like so many young men my age.
But, what my parents didn’t know…”
Rahid’s voice wavered.
“…What my parents didn’t know was that I was going to America to seek a different type of opportunity and…and…”
Rahid stopped and turned his back to the congregation, crying into his hands. After a moment, he turned and faced them again.
“I was f-filled with guilt and shame and…and if I had stayed in my own country…”
Seeing Rahid unable to go on, Martin went and stood with him, putting his arm around his shoulders. Feeling his support, Rahid wiped his face and went on.
“…if I had stayed within my own country, it wouldn’t have been the bombs and bullets that would have killed me. It would have been the fact that I was a homosexual.”
Rahid looked at Martin for acceptance and support. Martin smiled and nodded his head.
“I would have been disowned and shunned by my family and most likely murdered. I would have disgraced my family.”
Putting his head down and shaking it from side to side, Rahid was trying to shake the painful thoughts from his mind.
“After being in this country for five years and still trying to find where I belonged, I applied for this job because of my military background and experience. I met S-S-Sam…”
Martin patted Rahid’s back and wiped the tears from his own eyes.
“I met Sam, Jake, and Mr. Siegfried. I don’t….I don’t know how, but, Mr. Siegfried knew…I mean he knew about me. He said that I had a troubled spirit. I thought he was talking about me being a Muslim, so, I told him that I was a Muslim and I didn’t believe in Christianity. He asked me, “Is that why you’re here?” I thought it…it was a crazy question, so, I said, no.
He looked at me and said, “If we were on the battlefield and I knew where the landmines were, and I said, Rahid, don’t keep walking over there, or, you’re going to die, but, you told me, “Oh, I’m okay, A lot of people walk over here. It’s acceptable, and besides, I feel good walking over here.” Should I let you keep walking in that direction just because it feels good?” I said, of course not, Mr. Siegfried!
Then, he put his hand on my knee and said, “Rahid, don’t keep walking in that direction, it may feel good, but, there’s nothing but death ahead.”
Then, he looked me directly in the eyes and I could feel him penetrating my soul. I looked away in guilt and shame, but, then, rebellion and pride set in. I didn’t want anyone else to know or accuse me. So, I said,”You’re not going to win me over trying to scare me with going to hell. You Christians don’t know Allah and you’re filled with hate. You should win people over with love.
He said, “I just showed you love. I care about your soul and where it’s headed. Whether you’re a Muslim, a Christian, a Jew, a Hindu, a Buddhist, or anything else, God, Allah is the same god now as He was in the beginning!
You can tell me that everybody sins, but, Jesus changed everything! “
I rolled my eyes at the mention of Jesus, but he went on.
“God no longer resides with man inside of an ark. We no longer make blood sacrifices. God resides inside of us and that is why our temple, our body must be clean and Holy.
Jesus said, go and sin no more. The Old Testament established what sin is in God’s eyes and sexual sins were included. Now, if any who has embraced adultery, fornication, rape, sex exploitation, exhibitionism, pornography, child molestation, incest, homosexuality, or any act of lust, repents and doesn’t go back to their sin, then, they have truly repented in God’s eyes. However, if they go back because it feels good for them to sin, then, yes, he or she is perverse and an abomination before God; for they have rejected God and accepted evil instead of good.
I love you, Rahid, but, I do not love your sin and I don’t want you to perish because of your sin. God created you in His image and He has a plan for your life within His Kingdom. He also gave us the ability not to sin.
What you are doing is not in the image and character of God as described in any Abrahamic scripture. On Earth, God told us to be fruitful and multiply. To be fruitful, we must be attached to the Vine.
Now, you say that you are a Muslim,” he said to me. Islam and Muslim means to submit to the will of the one and only God. “So, if you don’t obey God, you are not a Muslim, just like a Jew who doesn’t obey God is not a Jew. We have given ourselves distinct names and divisions for that which should be the same thing, but, we have corrupted it. What makes us BELIEVERS and Children of God, he said, is our willingness to surrender our will and OBEY our Creator and Father. God only sees men and women as His children, when they have chosen to OBEY HIM!
Mr. Siegfried told me, now, if you no longer know what you believe in, who you believe in, or, you have compromised with the world, then, you are lost and confused, blinded by the adversary, because of pride and love of self and the world.
He could have stopped because I was offended, but, he continued on and I’m glad he did. A Believer, knows who and what they are because Christ has defined the perfect man, which we are to strive to become, as we are to imitate God! If you say you believe and you have closed your eyes to the darkness surrounding you and closing in on you, then, you are asleep! Which one are you, Rahid?
Would your Muslim brothers say that you are truly Muslim? In which Abrahamic religion do you find yourself being obedient to God? You came here because America would tolerate and encourage your sin, and tell you that it is not sin.
You need FAITH, Rahid!
4 There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called;
5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism;
6 one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. Ephesians 4:4-6
You can’t divide faith, just as you can’t divide God. Even in His omnipresence and the Trinity, God is still the same. Rahid, religion can’t define you, make you whole, or, keep you from SIN! That’s why you’re living like this and that’s why your spirit has no peace. Jesus is our peace. Our loving Father in Heaven sacrificed and provided that peace to us because He loves us.
God showed us LOVE and and the hardened hearts of men crucified Him. Now, you say that I can win you over, if I show you love?! Now, that’s hypocrisy! Are you loving God by obeying Him? It’s not about us Rahid. It’s about God. And God said that we must HUMBLE ourselves, REPENT, PRAY, and SEEK HIS FACE in order for Him to heal the land. Are you humbling yourself, Rahid, or rejecting the Word of God?
I can show you all the love in the world, but, if your heart is proud and hardened, you are not open to receive it. You won’t even know what God’s love looks like, because you have been blinded.
You are doing the same thing sinners have been doing since the beginning, expecting God to change and trying to wrestle His power out of His hands.
My friends, I have been humbled, but, at that moment I felt humiliated! I only knew him for a short time, but, Mr. Siegfried never gave up on me and continued to show me the love of God and Christ Jesus.
I would accompany him and Martin to church, as part of my duties, while still practicing trying to live as a Muslim. The sermons echoed his words and I slowly began to surrender to the Truth. I loved the teachings of Islam, but, I had no real faith that sustained me and kept me from sin.
I began to pray to Allah, saying that if He was the same God, He would show me Jesus and allow His Holy Spirit to enter my heart and make me whole. I did this without repenting of my sins, because I did not know any better.
One day, during service, as they prayed, I was troubled by all of this and everything in my life. There were tears in my eyes. Mr. Siegfried’s eyes were closed, but, he felt the pain and sorrow in my heart. Quietly, he whispered to me, “Repent.”
Then and there I repented and prayed for God to help me sin no more. I felt such a peace come over me that I was overwhelmed with tears of joy. I stood up crying and praising the Lord!
Since, then, I have had some trying times. Yet, I understand that God is building my faith through Christ Jesus.
It has been hard for me to explain this to my Muslim friends here in America and even harder to my gay friends, who believe I have turned my back on them. They continue to devour the lies fed to them by the adversary and the world, and succumb to the flesh. They are kept in bondage, blindness, and are blissfully ignorant, their mind unchanged, like the world.
However, when you are REBORN through the HOLY SPIRIT OF GOD, God gives you a New Mind, the Mind of Christ, and His Holy Spirit directs your path. He roots out and removes your sin, taking away the taste and desire to return.
Yes, there are temptations! For such is the world we live in today. But, each time I surrender my will to God and die to my flesh, not loving and obeying the world, but, instead, loving and obeying He, who created me;
each time I do what is holy and what is righteous, following the Mind of Christ…”
Rahid paused and turned around in a circle, rejoicing.
“THANK YOU, FATHER! I–HAVE–PEACE!”
He began to sing his words as the Spirit rejoiced inside of him. Martin and the congregation, also filled with the Spirit, began to share in his rejoicing and giving glory to God.
“I have peace…yeah-yeah…I have peace!”
“I have peace within…mmm-hmm…and joy, joy, joy….overflowing! ”
“I am BLESSED to be Alive!”
[Yes, Thank you, Jesus!]
“And, I thank God for sending His Son to save a poor wretch like me!”
[Yes, Thank you, Jesus!]
Rahid tried to calm down, because he had more on his heart he wanted to share.
“Uh…uh..I-I-I’ve got to tell you this before I sit down….Oh, Lord…I’ve got to tell you this…My earthly father died before I could tell him about my sin and deliverance. Perhaps, God knew that was best.
When I confessed my sin and deliverance to my mother, her heart was broken, but, I felt FREE! THE TRUTH HAD SET ME FREE! FREE AT LA-A-AST !
I said, Ya Ummah….O Mother….YOU DON’T KNOW…YOU DON’T KNOW…WHAT THE LORD ʿ(Īsā, Yēšūă) HAS DONE FOR ME! HALLELUJAH!!
But, Ummi, my MOTHER! Have mercy on her soul, Lord! She didn’t rejoice at my deliverance, but, she begged me to disavow and renounce Jesus, as my Lord and Saviour, and the Only Begotten Son of God. But, I couldn’t do it; not even for her, and I love my mother and cannot bear to break her heart.
She cried and pleaded! But, I still couldn’t do it.
Then I began to cry, MAMA, YOU DON’T KNOW…YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT THE LORD HAS DONE FOR ME!
I still love my mother and I always will. But now, I love Jesus, because, even before I was formed within my mother’s womb, HE FIRST LOVED ME!
He suffered and died so that one day I would be saved from my life of sin! How can I forget what He’s done for me?! How can I forget how He set me free?! No, I can’t deny Him!
How can I forget that, in times like these, in times like these, when, I have stood, as I am standing now, before you today, my FAITH has been increased? WOOH! LORD!
Now, I understand what Mr. Siegfried meant when he told me that I needed faith.
My faith has kept me! Oh, ye-es!
My faith has strengthened me! Oh, yeah!
My faith keeps me near the Cross, in times like THESE!
My faith has given me a better relationship with He, whom I have called Allah for so many years, but, I really didn’t know Him. No, I really didn’t know…who He was.
I was living as if I knew better than God what was right for me. I was expecting God to make exceptions for me, so that I could live as I pleased.
So, I came to this country for the wrong reasons, but, God had something else in store to make it right. He had someone he wanted me to meet and that someone was JESUS….JESUS!
I thought that the greatest thing about coming to this country would be being able to live the lifestyle I wanted to live without fear, but, that wasn’t true, because I was living a lie. The greatest thing about coming to this country has been living with and following Jesus. With Jesus, I know who and what I am! With Jesus, I can confess my sins before my Brothers and Sisters, my family, without fear!
Now, I know it’s not all about shouting and emotionalism, but-but-but, excuse me, please. I just can’t help myself, right now. I didn’t come here today expecting to testify in front of you, but, God…
I didn’t know how to truly worship, before. I was bound, inhibited, and strapped down to religion. You see I’ve been locked up, tied up, tangled up, held in bondage and unable to get free for so long. How long? Too long! I didn’t know which way to go! I didn’t think anybody cared! I thought I was somebody else! I thought I was some-thing else! But, God…”
Rahid wiped the sweat from his brow and tears from his eyes, then, breathed deeply.
“But, God looked down from Heaven…and chose me. He……He spared my life!
You…you see, Mr. Siegfried was RIGHT! Jesus changed EVERYTHING! Jesus made all of the difference in my life and in my worship! ME, Rahid Muhammad Ali Jawaid, I was missing Faith and I was missing Truth! mmm-mm-mmm! Thank you, Father!
I didn’t mean to take up so much of your time, but…”
[THAT’S ALRIGHT, BROTHER!]
“…but, I’m really…really…happy to pray with all of you, today, as a member of the Body of Christ Jesus. I thank you today and I thank God. Prayer changes things! Am I right?!
United together, through our faith in God, and obedience to Him, through Christ Jesus, we will have eternal life and life abundantly, as we continue to conquer this world. Amen?!
Rahid quickly took his seat as everyone clapped and praised the Lord. Then, someone shouted,
Smiling, Rahid stood and turned around, waving to the back of the room.
Pastor Allen who had sat down in front of Hal, stood and directed his remarks to Hal.
“Your father was helping to save more sinners, outside of the church than some do inside of the church. He was an example of what Discipleship and being an Ambassador for Christ is all about. Praise God!”